Fakeout Friday

Number of UM Students on Sugar Daddy Sites Spike in Wake of Government Shutdown

ImageThe government was shutdown for 16 days. You’d never guess it on the University of Miami’s Coral Gables campus: The palm trees still swayed, co-eds still tanned with their textbooks by the pool, and midterms were administered promptly.

However, there was a delay in the reimbursement of funds from certain scholarships, and since some student’s parents work with the government, their weekend table service fund at LIV was cut short this pay period.

Needing a 1200 on the SAT and a 3.5 GPA, UM students are resourceful (at least the ones that don’t have buildings named after them). They weren’t going to stand around and watch their summer wardrobe disintegrate into extinction as students whose parents work for non-government businesses prematurely started wearing the finest scarves and boots to kick start the Fall season.

If UM’s co-eds know one thing, it’s that a minimum wage job bussing tables at Johnny Rockets is never going to pay for their latest shipment from ASOS. But hey, that’s what sugar daddys (and college degrees) are for.

In the wake of the government shutdown, it’s these websites that arrange old, rich men with disadvantaged students –where charity and prostitution intersect– that have skyrocketed in sales.

“We usually have a lull in September and October,” the PR rep for SeekingArrangement.com Jennifer Gwynn (really) says. “For us to peak at the end of the month in September, and this week in general, it makes no sense for us to have a growth like this.”

Oh, Jen, but it does!

Lucky for UM students, the Daily Beast conveniently attested to the “sexiness” of Sunshine U’s demographic when they published their roundup of The 20 Sexiest Colleges in the nation last week. Beating FSU and UF, ‘Canes can boast they’re the sexiest piece of ass in the state and thus demand higher prices.

However, now that the government has un-shutdowned, there is no word on whether UM’s students have pulled their profiles because innovative campus career counselors boast that these Sugar Daddy sites are the new LinkedIn.

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