Perplexing Policy

I Went On A Ride-Along With UMPD And All I Got Was This Lousy Blog Post

On Friday night I was finally approved to go on a ride-along with UMPD Officer Ben Hendricks. I was shocked, and frankly so was everyone that heard I was granted this access (even Officer Hendricks himself!). I pictured myself watching students being handcuffed for minor pot residue in their vaporizers and watching the cops care … Continue reading

Drunk Mess

Intoxicated 18-Year-Old Pisses in Freshman Girls’ Dorm, Causes $290 in Damages

At 5 a.m. Saturday October 5th Freshman roommates Caroline DePhilllips, 18, and Monica Bair, 18, awoke to a “loud crashing noise” in their pitch-black dorm room on the fifth floor of Hecht Residential College’s McDonald Tower. It was the metal bunk beds clashing against the frame as an 18-year-old male, who we will call Will, … Continue reading

Sucks to be you

Miami Hurricanes Footballer’s Official Gear Stolen From Dorm Laundry Room

Despite appearing on national TV every week and holding the fate of our athletic department in their coarse and calloused hands, UM football players are normal students too. They eat, they sleep, they study, and have to wash their own laundry like the rest of us. Twenty-year-old freshman Sunny Vincent Odogwu is the 6’8″, 318 … Continue reading

You don't even go here

Sketchy Former Student Tries to Deliver Bag to Football Team, Claims to be in Sigma Alpha Epsilon Fraternity

Forty-three-year-old John Joseph Wilson was once a student at the University of Miami, but according to the police report not since 2005. At 5 p.m. on October 19th Wilson was found at the University of Miami Tennis Center. He was delivering “a bag” to the football team. When UMPD found Wilson he was sitting on … Continue reading