Sucks to be you

Mysterious White Powder Found Outside Panda Express


Paradise FM 103.1/Flikr Commons

Fifty-five-year-old Jose Sanchez has seen a lot at his job at the University of Miami food court. After the lunch rush at 3:30 p.m. on Tuesday October 15th his job unexpectedly went from an episode of Boy Meets World to Degrassi.

According to the police report, one of Sanchez’s “associates” had found “a clear Ziploc bag containing a white unknown powder substance in front of the panda express restaurant on the floor in the University of Miami food court.”

The bag could’ve been any assortment of white powder substances like salt, sugar, flour, or sand from the west coast of Florida.

Or it could also have been a baggie of cocaine that accidentally fell out of a student’s bag when he was grabbing his wallet to pay for his greasy chow mein (#nbd).

But let’s not jump to conclusions because Sanchez did not taste-test the contents. Instead, he immediately called UMPD.

UMPD Officer C. Naya impounded the unknown powder to the Coral Gables Police Department.

The powder is estimated to weigh 1 gram. If it’s cocaine, the baggie is estimated at $50. If it was salt, that number drops to a half a cent.

The mystery of the unknown white powder will remain unresolved since the contents were not sent for analysis. According to the report, it was “impounded for destruction.”


One thought on “Mysterious White Powder Found Outside Panda Express

  1. Pingback: The Ten Funniest Incident Reports from Fall Semester 2013 | Tropical Disturbance

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