Drunk Mess

Intoxicated 18-Year-Old Pisses in Freshman Girls’ Dorm, Causes $290 in Damages


Will didn’t wet the bed or his pants but he still missed the toilet by a mile (Beauty Of Lies/Flikr Commons)

At 5 a.m. Saturday October 5th Freshman roommates Caroline DePhilllips, 18, and Monica Bair, 18, awoke to a “loud crashing noise” in their pitch-black dorm room on the fifth floor of Hecht Residential College’s McDonald Tower. It was the metal bunk beds clashing against the frame as an 18-year-old male, who we will call Will, clumsily walked into it.

DePhillips quickly flipped the light switch on. Neither girl was prepared for what they saw next.

According to the police report, “both saw [Wil]l urinating all over the rugs and over a slipper inside the room.”

DePhillips then ordered Will to get out of the room.

“But [Will] seemed to be heavily intoxicated allegedly stating that he wasn’t doing anything,” the report claimed.

When the UMPD officer arrived in the dorm room and explained the situation to Will, “[Will] became very apologetic and embarrassed about the incident stating several times he could not “remember” what he had done.”

According to the report he had been drinking alcohol earlier at “an unknown place.”

The damages include:

1) one gray/white women’s slipper belonging to DePhillips valued at $130.

2) one large tan rug belonging to DePhillips valued at $100.

3) one small white rug belonging to Bair valued at $60.

Will has agreed to pay for any damages. DePhillips and Bair agreed to let Will pay for damages but at a later time.

Will was issued a trespass warning and was escorted off campus without further incident (his bladder was already empty).


5 thoughts on “Intoxicated 18-Year-Old Pisses in Freshman Girls’ Dorm, Causes $290 in Damages

    • It’s already public record. I got my information from a police report. This post isn’t meant to be mean, just an insight into things that happen on campus.

      • that doesnt justify you putting his name into the public sphere. Your link is the first thing that comes up when you google “_________ University of Miami”, and you’ve just made his embarrassing mistake easily searchable. How dare you.

  1. Pingback: The Ten Funniest Incident Reports from Fall Semester 2013 | Tropical Disturbance

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