Perplexing Policy

UM Employee Not a Fan of Bathroom Stall Poetry

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Jess’s Mess*/Flikr Commons

Shakespeare always said, a poem written on any other medium would smell as sweet. But he clearly never read poetry in a university bathroom stall. In this day in age, literature is not just available in books. Kindles, iPads, and yes, even bathroom stalls are all emerging platforms for publishing words. University of Miami employee Vivian Perez is not a fan of this trend, or at least not that last one, because on Tuesday November 19th Perez called UM Police.

“Perez advised that an unknown person, using permanent marker, wrote the following poem in the third floor men’s bathroom, handicapped stall, room 304, in the Flipse Building:

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.”

The poem was originally written by Mary Elizabeth Frye in 1932. It is unclear whether Perez dislikes all bathroom stall poem graffiti, or if it’s just this particular set of lines.

According to the incident report, all other bathrooms on the third floor of the Flipse Building were checked and no other forms of literature were found. UNICCO was contacted to erase the poetry. The damage is valued at $100. Ms. Perez’s appreciation of the literary arts, however, is priceless.

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One thought on “UM Employee Not a Fan of Bathroom Stall Poetry

  1. Pingback: The Ten Funniest Incident Reports from Fall Semester 2013 | Tropical Disturbance

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