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Trespasser Asks UMPD Officer “Am I Attractive? Could I Pick Chicks Up?”

On Wednesday November 6th a UMPD officer was on duty patrolling the Lake Osceola area. It was about 4:05 p.m. and the officer was near the Student Activities Center (SAC) when he “observed a white male walking [past] me who was unable to walk straight,” the police report states. The officer observed the struggling pedestrian … Continue reading

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Ex-Boyfriend Threatens UM Student With Explicit Photos

Summer romances end for all kinds of reasons, but Danielle* and George*’s summer romance was not the kind that Nicholas Sparks writes about. Danielle and George are 21 and from Miami. They started dating in July 2013, but their relationship was short-lived, and ended before the autumn equinox. Around 5 p.m. Wednesday September 25th Danielle … Continue reading

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Sketchy Former Student Tries to Deliver Bag to Football Team, Claims to be in Sigma Alpha Epsilon Fraternity

Forty-three-year-old John Joseph Wilson was once a student at the University of Miami, but according to the police report not since 2005. At 5 p.m. on October 19th Wilson was found at the University of Miami Tennis Center. He was delivering “a bag” to the football team. When UMPD found Wilson he was sitting on … Continue reading

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Canadians Take Boat for Illegal Joy Ride on Lake Osceola

In a stroke of humorous linguistic luck, two visiting Canadians were found oat and aboat in a boat. Eleven minutes after midnight on Saturday August 31st, Officer Castillo was dispatched to Lake Osceola. Apparently two white males had taken the University of Miami’s 13-foot Boston Whaler on a late night joy ride without permission. The … Continue reading