Drunk Mess

“Juvenile” in Freshman Dorm Can’t Hold His Liquor, Soils Shorts

For most first-years in the dorms, it’s their first time away from home. Pinching old bottles of scotch from the antique liquor cabinet when their parents weren’t around is now a distant memory –even though it was probably just a few weeks ago. It’s halfway through the fall semester, but most freshman have already invested … Continue reading

Sucks to be you

Pranksters at University Village Pull Fire Alarm at 2 a.m., No One Laughed

Around 2:20 a.m. Friday September 13th, students awoke to the unsettling siren and flashing lights of the University Village fire alarm system. It wasn’t a drill. Decked out in embarrassing pajamas and acne creams, the students stampeded out of their campus accomodation in zombie-like unison. While most students are used to the overly-sensitive detectors in … Continue reading

Fakeout Friday

Number of UM Students on Sugar Daddy Sites Spike in Wake of Government Shutdown

The government was shutdown for 16 days. You’d never guess it on the University of Miami’s Coral Gables campus: The palm trees still swayed, co-eds still tanned with their textbooks by the pool, and midterms were administered promptly. However, there was a delay in the reimbursement of funds from certain scholarships, and since some student’s … Continue reading