“Juvenile” in Freshman Dorm Can’t Hold His Liquor, Soils Shorts

For most first-years in the dorms, it’s their first time away from home. Pinching old bottles of scotch from the antique liquor cabinet when their parents weren’t around is now a distant memory –even though it was probably just a few weeks ago. It’s halfway through the fall semester, but most freshman have already invested … Continue reading →

UM Student Roams the Streets Drunk Without Shoes or Wallet

At 6:23 a.m. Friday September 20th the sun was just beginning to rise over Coconut Grove as suburban white collars prepared for their commute. Beer-soaked plastic cups and dried vomit still lined Main Highway, but in the light of day, last night’s debauchery was now just a hazy memory and pounding headache. Except for then … Continue reading →

Students Ignore Smoking Ban With a Smoke-Out on The Rock

The smoking ban on campus was initiated at the start of semester. Instead of having designated smoking areas, UM students and staff looking for a quick drag must retreat to the sidewalks on Campo Sano or Ponce de Leon Blvd. See also: New Fornicate Freely Campaign on Campus However, since it is not illegal to … Continue reading →

University of Miami Bomb Threat: The Anti-Event

At 10:27 a.m. Thursday October 24th the University of Miami Alert System sent out a startling email: Students were promptly herded out of the library. Yellow crime scene tape was put up. But that was all that went down: classes ended at 10:45 a.m. and after the 15-minute break classes began again at 11 a.m. … Continue reading →

Pranksters at University Village Pull Fire Alarm at 2 a.m., No One Laughed

Around 2:20 a.m. Friday September 13th, students awoke to the unsettling siren and flashing lights of the University Village fire alarm system. It wasn’t a drill. Decked out in embarrassing pajamas and acne creams, the students stampeded out of their campus accomodation in zombie-like unison. While most students are used to the overly-sensitive detectors in … Continue reading →

Source “Close to the Situation” Denies Phi Delt Allegations

I got my hands on a disturbing police report last week from the Coral Gables Police Department. The officer’s narrative explains one student was verbally harassed by 30 members of Phi Delta Theta fraternity at a football game at Sun Life Stadium on August 30th. The report was filed four days later with UMPD. After … Continue reading →

Number of UM Students on Sugar Daddy Sites Spike in Wake of Government Shutdown

The government was shutdown for 16 days. You’d never guess it on the University of Miami’s Coral Gables campus: The palm trees still swayed, co-eds still tanned with their textbooks by the pool, and midterms were administered promptly. However, there was a delay in the reimbursement of funds from certain scholarships, and since some student’s … Continue reading →

Phi Delts Respond with Conflicting Comments

I wrote a post last night about a student (who wished to remain anonymous) that was intimidated by 30 members of Phi Delta Theta fraternity. According to the incident report the victim, or Will as I dub him, simply went to say hi to a friend as he waited in line to use the restroom … Continue reading →

Student Claims Phi Delts Call Him “a Nursing Fag and Pussy” and to “Watch His Back”

On August 30th, The University of Miami Hurricanes pummeled FAU’s Owls 34 to 6 during the opening game of the season. But that wasn’t the only brawl at Sun Life Stadium that day. According to a police report filed September 4, one student approached another in line at the stadium’s restroom to say hello. This … Continue reading →

University Transforms Lake Osceola to New Blue Zone Parking

The university spent $46.5 million to build the new Student Activities Center which opened this semester. Students gawk at its immensity and modern design, and then sit down to catch their breath after hiking across the 239-acre campus to actually reach it. However, when the pair of widowed alumni that donated to the building, Ellen … Continue reading →